Pay no attention to the pretzel M&Ms in my hand. This has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with the fact that the boyfriend forces me to eat way too much bad (yet tasty) food. He also forces me to sleep late, work late and be emotionally and physically drained after work, making exercise completely avoidable. He does all this while living 303 miles away. I know. How dare he, right?
If you knew me, you’d know I’m always hungry. Ever since I was a baby, I ate every two hours. If I ever get really mean and start yelling at you for no reason, you should just shove a granola bar in my mouth, wait about 2 minutes and then sit back for the apology. My sister can tell by the look on my face when I’m a hot second away from a meltdown. Sadly for everyone, she lives in Arizona, has a life and cannot follow me around shoving food in my face. (I think it’s kinda rude for her not to at least offer though; she clearly has a gift).
So, it’s not my problem that I forget Dubs is a man who can eat 2500 calories a day and not gain weight. I call BS when my jeans start getting snug after I match him burrito for burrito, beer for beer. I eat like a man, dammit. Plus, I really like burritos.
March 9th, 2011 at 9:31 PM
You are a funny chick, Jenny Sherman!
March 9th, 2011 at 11:16 PM
Oh man.
I love burritos too.
And making you eat them so you don’t get cranky.
April 5th, 2011 at 2:40 PM
[...] to class, but she can’t find her keys anywhere. You know how crazy I get when I’m hungry? It’s pretty similar to when I get hot and can’t find something. All I remember is [...]
April 18th, 2011 at 4:41 PM
[...] -To the really skinny woman at the vegetarian restaurant who couldn’t possibly finish her salad because she had a big lunch of more salad, I hate you. I’m always about 3 seconds from licking my plate after every meal. Quit making me look like a fatty. [...]
October 26th, 2011 at 10:55 AM
[...] fact, I’ve been in a relationship for 26 months so am currently at my “happy weight.” It’s not so much that [...]