20 Months

So you know when people have babies they count the baby’s age in months? I’m sure it has to do with all the milestones and development and crap that happens in a short time, which, if you think about it, is pretty amazing. But if you are a selfish millennial like I am, you don’t think about it. Not even a little bit.

Instead you want people to take your relationship milestones and development and crap seriously. Like when you’re at a cocktail party and people are all “what’s your deal” and you’re all “I got a live in boyfriend, yo” and they’re all “I don’t care” and you’re all “well, I started a blog about it” and they’re all “whatever.” And then you’re like, “but we’ve been dating for 20 months, bro” and they’re like “Woah, dude. That’s heavy.”

And they’d be right. It IS heavy.

If my relationship was a toddler, its scribbles would look like vertical and horizontal lines, and maybe even a circle (well according to the first thing that came up in a Google search about 20 month old babies).

Yeah. I don’t know what that means either.


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